I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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