I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
