some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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