im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
