i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
