ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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