the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
