the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
