Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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