i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
where does the pee come out of this thing
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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