My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
