Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There's always time for handjobs
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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