i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
