you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
