Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize