Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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