i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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