so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
