you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
