yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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