You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I could fuck to npr.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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