I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
