I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
