i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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