Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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