there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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