covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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