You kept calling me your small dog last night.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
