I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
