Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
