Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
