I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
