i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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