he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
