..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
