just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
