The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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