I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
