I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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