After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
