Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
