we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
