she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
