turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
