it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
