dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
