Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
