You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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