You're a womanizer and a bitch.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
