I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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